Ridiculous One Liners from Prof Rapper from the Cold North

Prof on an apparent Micky D's run
Prof on an apparent Micky D's run. Photo courtesy of Blue G Productions, LLC

For those who don’t know Prof, he is the party boy of the Midwest, his rhymes as wild as his antics.

We’ve been watching this Minneapolis rapper’s rise from the 2000s. And one thing that hasn’t changed since his first release are his unique lyrics,

Find our favorite one liners and verses from the years gone by from this hip-hip rapper and soul singer. They are a testament to his ridiculous lyrical character.

Wild times with the P.R.O.F.

“I’m buck wild, I never have it together,

Have you noticed I leave every show on a stretcher?”

The above from Bar Breaker is a fine description of Prof’s hip-hop character. Light work, off of Pookie Baby reinforces this with the following lines:

“When people tell me I’ll regret that in the morning

I sleep til noon, I sleep til noon”

Prof & Tech N9ne Collaboration

Prof goes hard teaming up with legendary rapper Tech N9ne on their track Ghost. As usual, he rides the line between puns and rap, while still keeping the flow.

“I’m better than a midday fuck

Name a rapper man I think they suck

I’m gonna buy an old big grey truck

Watch, I’ll drive around the country with my fists taped up, yup”

“Y’all a puddle of piss

Love it or not, at least I give a hundred percent

Is it ’cause I ain’t covered in tattoos?

Well sit back cupcake I got bad news”

“Find out Prof is a ghost

That lives with a neck like that, and a rope like this

Flow like bricks, so underrated that I held my dick ’til I broke my fist

I’m so gifted it’s like Santa’s here

I roll deep even got my grandma here

So fly, oh my, I need landing gear

So bright, y’all might, catch a tan in here”

Prof in his natural element. Photo courtesy of Blue G Productions, LLC
Prof in his natural element. Photo courtesy of Blue G Productions, LLC

One of our favorites from back in the day

Going back over a decade ago, Prof drops a bomb with POS on Recession Music. Broadcasting is one of our favorite tunes off this one. Every year we rediscover it. Consider it a pump up track – this should be on your work out playlist.

Listen to POS and Prof throw verses at each other like there’s no tomorrow.

“I am bigger than you’ve ever seen

I am better than you’ve ever heard

I could reinvent with every word

Larger than life don’t even make sense

I am so far ahead I’m backwards I am in past tense”

“I am on overload overdose

I am on cruise control

I could write an album under comatose

I am unconscious yet so focused

I’m ultimate high I’ll ride till I’m hopeless

I know what I started and I don’t plan on finshin’

Givin’ in is the difference in wishin’ it an livin’ it”

Prof at Red Rocks. Photo Courtesy of Blue G Productions, LLC
Prof at Red Rocks. Photo Courtesy of Blue G Productions, LLC

I Dry Heave, the classic Prof track

I Dry Heave is a classic Prof track. Back in high school in the 2000’s this was the first Prof track that reached our ears. We’ve still got the CD somewhere all scratched up from being over played. Correct me if I’m wrong, but he was personally handing them out at Atmosphere’s When Life Gives You Lemons, You Paint That Shit Gold album tour at Soundset 2008.

“Kool Aid, a new day

But I haven’t had any sleep since the 9th grade


Everyday I’m hustlin’


Roll up your sleeves, I’ll do the shufflin’”

“Yo headed back, 23 Wilco,

Charlie, Zulu, ya’ll dildos

I don’t give a fuck

(a fuck)

I got scratches and cuts from last night

And I don’t recollect one

And somehow my finger smells like fish


It must be the bumblebees in last nights dish”

Style Thus Far from Kaiser von Powderhorn mixtape

Style Thus Far is Prof’s rendition of a Rick Ross’ track The Boss ft. T-Pain. In all fairness, he absolutely nails it. If you’re looking for a big mood, you’ll find it here.

“Nike brand condoms: Just Do It

You better get the fuck outta my way before I lose it”

“The Lord talked to me, but that’s bi-polar

My balls is so big, I carry ’em in my stroller”

Shoot Shoot Kill

That beat! Prof picks up the pace throughout the Shoot Shoot Kill and lays waste upon all that is holy in the last verses. It’s exasperated, timeless hip-hop. There’s also reference to Prof’s family life and some of the shit he went through as a kid.

“Offer me your cup, see if I’m real and I can fill it up

I think you’ve mistaken me for someone who might give a fuck

I got my daddy in me, I like to start shit

I put a fire to your complex apartment”

“Ladies and gentlemen, brethren and sisters

I’m so sick to the point that my wrist hurts

This is a meat-shop, and I’m the butcher, boy

You’re on my list of everything I hate and could destroy

I rap with gale force, get the fuck inside your homes

This ain’t sticks and stones, this right here will break your bones”

“If you can keep up with me, then you’re a liar

Five tracks, four days, mixtape, Powderhorn, General Kaiser

I’m Robo-Prof-tologist, about to talk, hawk loogies on your carpet

I think I am car-sick”

“Yeah my shit stinks, fuck what a bitch thinks

I’m like an NHL player up in a kids’ rink

I am too big for this, like a McPlayground

I think I’ll stomp my white ass back to A-town”

King Gampo 2011
King Gampo 2011

King Gampo – a good ol’ filthy Prof album

I remember when Prof came out with King Gampo. The cover was of him sitting in this grimy bathtub eating spaghetti. The tracks were catchy, raunchy and absolutely bumpin’. President is sheer self-confidence. The polar opposite of gallantry. Prof holds nothing back here, declaring himself as the president, outright. Basic raps, fantastic delivery. It’s crude, but goddamn it works.

“Who parks like me? Kill the club dead

Who fucks like me? I break the fucking bed”

“Fuckin’ rappers, they all dog shit

They can get on they knees

I need my balls licked.”

“Put it all together and you’ll never find another rapper that’ll do a show like me

I do what I want whenever I feel, walk in the white house, I don’t even show ID!”

Anomoly from the same album

“You know what I’m talking about, bitch?

Find a better MC than me right now

I will personally deliver a gift-wrapped fuckin’ flyin’ pig

With a diamond fuckin’ bow on top, bitch”

Let’s end with one last simple, yet effective verse from Peep Show on the same album:

“Yo, all you rappers suck

Prof Socials

Are you a diehard Prof fan?

Pick up one of the last few remaining LP versions of Prof’s album Pookie Baby on Amazon.

This article includes affiliate links & as Amazon Associates we earn from qualifying purchases.

Written by Luc Rouffaud

Luc Rouffaud is the founder of Underground Sound and has six years of experience in the music industry, particularly running a music publication and marketing events.


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