Ridiculous One Liners from Prof Rapper Vol. 2: Horse

(Left to right) Prof and Wonka on stage.
(Left to right) Prof and Wonka on stage. Photo credit @blue_g_productions

Call him audacious, utterly uncivilized or the Shakespeare of savage rhymes—Prof rapper from Minnesota is undeniably on the rise.

In honor of his latest album, Horse, we’re back again with volume two of his most ridiculous one liners from this album.

Horse, full of beautifully savage raps

Horse album by Prof rapper from Minneapolis, MN
Horse album by Prof rapper from Minneapolis, MN

This edition of Prof’s ridiculous one liners will focus solely on songs from Horse. In only one album there are plenty of beautifully savage raps for you to enjoy. If you haven’t read Vol. I yet, you’ll want to get up to speed here.

To get started, here’s a lovely snippet from the beginning of the album from the song sharing the same name.

“How am I supposed to wrestle with being conceited

When immediately I’ve out-competed all the industry’s elite

And easily I’m undefeated, even on the margaritas

Ain’t no closin’ all the distance in between us, comprende?

Presenting a man that’s ascending

Feng shui, Roberto Clemente, al dente

She been bae for ten days on Wednesday

But then they can end it, Dikembe, comprende?”

What about the horse-related lines you ask? But of course.

“Yeah, I make all my own shit and Ima leave it at that

Thought I was a horse the way I put the team on my back

Thought I was a horse the way I took a beating for that

Thought I was a horse the way my fucking dick look, bitch

Consider this, points and assists

Rebounds, blocks, and I’m good with my fists”

Straight to the point on “Judy

(Left to right) Wonka and Prof on set of Judy, photo credit to Stophouse Productions
(Left to right) Wonka and Prof on set of Judy, photo credit to Stophouse Music Group

“I be stuntin’ like a motherfucker deep into my forties

I ain’t touch nobody, I just be orchestrating orgies

I don’t love nobody, I just be rolling with some shorties

Ooh lordy lordy bitch, I’ll talk a dog off a steak

Hold on, time out


Bought her a new ass but she ride it like it’s stolen

Little baby go to work like a locomotion

Set the plan in motion, make a damn commotion”

Prof rapper undoubtably on the rise

Prof rapper posing with my brother and his friends after a 2009 Minneapolis block party
Prof rapper posing with my brother and his friends after a 2009 Minneapolis block party

A rapper that has been steadily increasing in popularity since his early days, Prof put out his first album, Absolutely in 2006. A year later, my brother and I would discover Prof from his track, “Rocket Man” and our love of his antics and audacity was born.

Prof’s ambition bursts through in “Devils Gate”.

“Blind men wanna see my vision

And the con men and women wanna ask permission

I’m driven, I’m gettin’ down to business

I ain’t expect you to understand my ambition

Well that’s a sick opinion bro, thanks

I’ma get to swimmin’, no chase”

Prof's 2020 album Powderhorn Suites
Prof’s 2020 album Powderhorn Suites

Pulled from Prof’s website, “you can’t call it a comeback, because Prof’s numbers have only ever gone up.” Backed up by the numbers, his previous album, Powderhorn Suites, reached a career-high #3 on the Billboard Current Rap Albums charts.

That’s Prof rap history right there! Snag a vinyl of Powderhorn Suites for your collection here on Amazon.

“I need a woman that can lift up a car

Help me with an alibi when I get home from the bar

Double hard bastard, climbin’ out the casket

If you gotta know, I’m doin’ great, fantastic

Eight straightjackets, hate that’s classic

Skate right past it, thanks for askin’

From the wall to the window, hit the crescendo if you tryna flex

Cop a Glock and a thot, take a shot lil’ bro say less”

Finishing up with brutal honesty.

“It’s some dumb mother fuckers where I’m from, man

You don’t go to war with a millionaire who mows his own mother fuckin’ lawn

Ya dig?

Hey, y’all lookin’ like some succulent baby lambs right now

There’s gon’ be clear cut winners and losers, I’ll make sure of that”

Prof and Redman on “Pack a Lunch”

Pack a Lunch (with Redman)” is a beautiful display of absurdity where Prof and Redman team up. Our personal favorite from this album, we wrote a background story about this collab when this tune dropped earlier this year (read it here).

“Four, five housewives outside mouth wide

Normal day on the Southside

So high I got Alzheim’s

Slopestyle alpine in my down time”

Screen grab from 'Pack a Lunch' from Prof feat. Redman
Screen grab from ‘Pack a Lunch’ from Prof feat. Redman

Although Prof starts out strong, the second half of his verse is where things really get weird.

“Cup of lean got me questioning my sanity

All this footage on the phones could be damaging

So drunk that I can barely see

Is that Jennifer Aniston balancing on a manatee?

Who’s flexible at the festival?

And what’s the numeros por tu teléfono?

I wish that I was born with eight cocks

‘Bout to go someplace and drink my face off like Wade Boggs”

Prof is a monster rapper, we have proof

Prof rapper is a monster, photo credit unattributed (contact us for credit)

Let’s rapid fire some ridiculous lines from “Big Hungry Monster”, “Subpar (feat. Method Man)” and “Snake Skin Leather” in that order.

“You slow as molasses

I’m loud and I’m brash

I’m swerving through lanes like a lass having contractions

Cut up a half a patch of acid

A little less conversation and more action”

“If suffering builds character, then get a load of me

I’ve been through shit, I’m filled with piss, I’m bloated totally”


“What you seen to this point is nothing

You don’t put a saddle on a mustang

Grab a gun, put some acid on a tongue

Hurry up, let’s ride”


Prof tour this summer & fall

Prof rapper High Priced Shoes Tour photo
Prof rapper High Priced Shoes Tour. Photo courtesy of Stophouse Music Group.

Check out Prof tour dates here where he’ll be playing all over the US throughout the summer.

Don’t worry if you’re going to miss him in July and August, the High Priced Shoes Tour starts up again in mid-September where he’ll be hitting venues all over the West Coast from California, Arizona, Oregon and Washington.

To wrap up, here’s some politeness and decency from the songs “Soupy” and “Creek Boy”.


“Prof a consummate

Don’t sell me that plane if it don’t come with bombs in it

Maybe some missiles, making it sizzle, grease on the griddle

I’m smoking a nugget

Ayee ow, sorry I’m thinking out loud”


“That’s that black Cadillac, demonic

Pack that fat ass sat tectonic

Rappers in my city be soft as porcelain

Pay your respects to a true outdoorsman

You only know me by music

You don’t know me, you stupid”


“I’m moving with exuberance,

Fuck the game, pass the military-grade lubricant”


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Written by Louis Rouffaud

Louis Rouffaud is a sustainability professional with a Master in Sustainability and Energy Management from Bocconi University, writing content on sustainability in the music industry. He is also a hip-hop and R&B enthusiast.

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