Ian Hinksman
What do you think when you see the word submissive? Weak, gentle, passive? You couldn’t be more wrong – and that’s why you’re a fake dom. It’s the sub, the SOUNDBOKS speaker, that holds all the power.
There are plenty of similarities between BDSM and one of the toughest, loudest, and sexiest speakers on the market. SOUNDBOKS, the Danish Bluetooth speakers are built to be abused. And despite a few battle scars, they still manage to get turned on.
No safe word for the durable SOUNDBOKS
It’s all about confidence and SOUNDBOKS is fully charged. Especially when it comes to the durability of their products. Just look at the amount of creative crash test content they regularly share on their socials.
There’s no safe word in their vocabulary, and they have been quoted saying that they’re designed to survive in even the most challenging of circumstances. In their words: “we understand that parties and events can be unpredictable, so we have designed the SOUNDBOKS to be ready for most situations.”
Can SOUNDBOKS get wet?
Not in the sense you may be thinking.
Picture this, you’re at an outdoor party, and drinks start being knocked around. Adding to this, it starts to rain. Chill, SOUNDBOKS is water resistant to IP65.
Bruh, let’s throw our SOUNDBOKS down a hill
Said no one ever – except SOUNDBOKS themselves. Here is a great demonstration of the SOUNDBOKS GO being chucked down a hill.
Quoting their press kit: “Our speakers have survived numerous house fires, hurricanes, and car crashes.”
These are rather extreme circumstances. Here’s two more strange use cases showing the abuse that they can withstand.
- Professional snowboarder spanks and grinds SOUNDBOKS
- Watch this guy chuck his SOUNDBOKS down a full flight of stairs
Portability: strap it down, baby
As stated, these speakers appear to withstand almost any situation or harsh environment. I’m looking at those of you who want to put your SOUNDBOKS to the test by heading out on the unbeaten path.
One useful and very unique accessory from the brand stands out from the rest – the backpack.
The SOUNDBOKS weight allows access to all areas
Reach urban, wooded, and beach environments with ease. Forget the idea that large speakers are too heavy to carry around for miles. The last model SOUNDBOKS 4 weighs just 15kg (a little more than 33 lbs for the American crowd).
So, you have no excuses. Grab your speaker, strap it up like a naughty little sub, gather your crew and head to the woods.
Check out our coverage of a Scottish countryside rave.
There’s no performance anxiety for SOUNDBOKS
With durability and portability out of the way, let’s take a look at sound performance.
It’s louder than the porno you didn’t turn off the last time you used your laptop. Put plainly, the bass spanks harder than a leather slapper paddle.
Is there really a need for me to paint such a vivid picture? The answer is yes, how else can we get our point across?
In-house software and HARD-ware
The performance that you get out of a speaker depends on the hardware, software, and the electronics. The better the drivers, the higher sound quality. If you have a larger cabinet, your speaker will be louder.
SOUNDBOKS has perfected this process, and their focus has always been on creating a louder sound, retaining well-defined bass, with a good amount of kick thrown in for good measure. They do this due to their in-house developed software and hardware technologies.
The results are a thunderously loud speaker, which can fill any room or outdoor space. FYI, there’s even an app that allows you to adjust sound- enhancing controls associated with the speakers.
It’s time to dominate your space!
Sound so clear you can Shazam from 200 meters away
Some DJs get pissed off when you Shazam their tracks. While there are those who take this as a compliment, others will take it the wrong way.
If the sound system of choice is SOUNDBOKS, you can move as far away as 200 meters, safe in the knowledge that you can Shazam in peace. Then when you have the whole playlist, simply go and buy your own SOUNDBOKS to throw an even bigger and better party.
We’ve got some music inspiration to test out your new SOUNDBOKS on our Spotify. Expect to dig your way through over 150 curated playlists.
The SOUNDBOKS battery, banging for days
Let’s close off this off by talking about the battery life. Are you worried that the battery is going to die mid party? This is a legit concern, and I’m here to tell you that it should be at the bottom of your list of worries.
Each model comes with a mammoth forty hours of battery juice, when played at a lower volume, and between six to ten hours at max volume. With such battery power, it’s likely that you will lose energy quicker than your SOUNDBOKS will. Event if you do run out, they are the only Bluetooth speaker with a swappable battery.
Fun fact: the volume level on all models goes up to 11, a nod to the cult movie classic This is Spinal Tap. “It’s one louder, isn’t it?”
SOUNDBOKS festival origins
SOUNDBOKS were originally designed as a festival speaker and they are now one of the most powerful and portable consumer speakers on the market. Each model in the family offers a concert-like experience.
They have been taking their rightful place in the saturated speaker market since 2015. Selling over 250,000 units globally, with massive brand collaborations, we can confidentially say that SOUNDBOKS should be on your list of must-have speakers for 2024.
Disclaimer you may be turned on by this article, but please don’t have sex with your SOUNDBOKS.
SOUNDBOKS Links
Get new music every single day on our Telegram Channel
This article includes affiliate links & we earn from qualifying purchases.
